Hurricane Preparedness Guide

As a Florida native, I know a lot about how to prepare for a hurricane. Here are some useful hints & tips that will help you out:

- Remember to buy the karaoke version of "Rock You Like A Hurricane" by The Scorpions early in the hurricane season before it sells out.

- If the electricity goes off, you're more likely to get laid. If the electricity doesn't go off, use something sharp to cut the line that leads to your house.

- It is recommended to fill up your bathtub with clean water in case your municipal water service is cut off. I personally recommend using your bathtub to make gin.

- If you own a grill, get your propane take filled before the storm. Watching your neighbors eat cold food from a can is more fun while cooking a 17-ounce Porterhouse.

- It is recommended to purchase several gallons of bottled water before the storm. I recommend purchasing 12 beers per person, per day. If beer is in short supply, adjust by rationing only 6 beers per day to any children under 12.

- Generators are very good to have in case of extended power outages. Without power, how would you sing "Rock You Like A Hurricane" on your karaoke machine?